i threw up recently.

day before yesterday or so i threw up. friday. i drank too much. ive been thinking about what i should do with my life. it is self centered to say but i do wish to set to work on an epic. i am a coward in many ways. bleh. christmas was alright. keep it all very simple.

beat.

i went on a date with the only non-autistic tgirl in colorado, i took her to a bookstore run by the most autistic man who doesnt realize hes autistic, i also got a new lens, 70-200mm, i took pictures of the girl. she is extremely beautiful. i wanna bite her. im on call with one of my sisters.

today.

oh today i am a fool, i sat bored and didnt write of my adventures, i make a try at an exit from twitter. oh those lands, new york city calls back to me. shush about seattle soup. i think i might be falling for gwendolyn, but it is the time of long nights and it's so much easier to fall then. read about proto-indo-european and culture and investigate some poetry too. oh cant forget that hastily put together a song, only in the loose words, for a friendly weekly competition. sat and enjoyed. it was a calm day, which ended with calling gwen and reading poetry to her. 

nyc.

i need to write about my trip to nyc.

it was nice.

i met lovely people.

lex walton feels like a cosmic sister (not in a trans incestuous way but someone who understands the situation).

im befriending coworkers and people who work at the camera store.

SEVENTEEN, NOVEMBER, MOVEMENT, NEW YORK CITY.

I WENT TO MANHATTAN AND BEFRIENDED A WEIRD GUY,

I MADE SANDWICH, IT'S REALLY GOOD. IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

I AM ABOUT TO PASSOUT.

portability.

I HAVE MY SOUL ON MY BACK AND IN MY CHECKED LUGGAGE.

YESTERDAY I HAD GAY SEX WITH A GIRL I CALLED MY SISTER. 

she was eager and a leninist and i was frail and rambled. i packed at last minute.

denver international airport wandering to east coast becomes habit. it's all a blur, walk to show, take pictures, this is a blur. this place where the songs are like water to a dolphin is like seventh circle in denver. ive been here before. meet lex, hello walton. quickly hi, and then photos of the show. eyeyey. after show, hello there, shake hands, she says hi. i say hi. we three go to popeyes. this is familiar, the sight and sound of friends, yippee. talk show reality tv in next room. i wish i could fall asleep holding a friend (hell ill take a lover at this point but would rather have a friend) everynight. me and the leninist rambled through boulder. gyro in her hand, film in mine. i need, more. i need, this cant be all life has to offer. the imperial core has everything but it's all rotten inside.

ey, there the lass goes,

world soul on her back,

six thousand blows,

the portability attack,

hack, slash, gauls beckon,

eat gold leaf out of god hand,

the queen performs bass in bushwick.

ways of mourning.

i finished ways of seeing today. i thought about people i shouldnt be thinking about anymore. i thought about thought while at work. im stuck here. in the deli. i think about the ordinary nature of my life. im no longer man in exile. i have nothing to add to the canon. it's complete. postmodernity killed it. your eyes glaze over this. theyve seen it before. time escapes us because of capitalism. i am use to no home. to no habit. i must find a way to take my sorrows and transform them. i have projects i should finish. tension string hitches into high gear.