dog who uses her jake brakes in residential neighborhoods
precisely betrays the lack of it and an overcompensation over experiences and side of them they still haven't been able to properly come into terms with
theres such an intimacy and personal connection with this, having a girl hook up your drive to her/its computer, giving you some files, copying some of yours, riffling through your epubs and mp3s... in person personal piracy is precious and beautiful...
i am glad you are doing that instead of twitter
l am concerned that my judgment has been compromised because am not sufficiently medicated for my ADHD. It is not like me to impulsively prepare a migraine titration and to bring it to a party. That is the first time ever done that. And this was like a board game and plant raffle night, I genuinely made the most bizarre, set of assumptions to get to that place.
being away from my wife is agony. i need to hold her. like. im extremely cautious of ending up in harmful situations or hurting people and this is the first relationship where while flawed (shes extremely affectionate and caring irl and calling but shes not good at expressing it textually) in ways i do see an actual path to us living together. we are both very critical of uhauling and seen how a fair amount of transfem relationships endup fuckedup so we are careful about that and do best with communication we can.
They are the most important person object and divinity in the universe, I understand.
shes the only person in my life i have ever trusted completely (past relationships have felt like had to hide parts of me) and just. i knew that having to return home would be crushing but i didnt account for how annoying and deeply wrong it would feel to no longer have ability to be around her.
Sometimes you meet someone. You would not only die for but more greatly, live with a zeal for.
it felt so natural and right and like we could do anything.
Me and then will never stop being in a sort of reverse death spiral
im unsure how i will keep myself sane while im away from her. regardless we know the process of getting to be together will be a long term project but. how am i supposed to survive like. two years of not having around the only person who i trust and know mostly understands me?. minor complaint i know but nonetheless im off twitter so this is just a place to put things like this every now and then.
We both locked on and fight for the other to improve
the positive is that im proud of myself for actually being careful and making sure this relationship works before doing anything.
We both gnash our teeth and struggle until the other is happy
do you feel like that might be of that sisterly projection, which considering the wrapping up in maternal issues i imagine that result in a projection of an older sister, might be at play in here? as in she herself ends up (unconsciously) playing into this projection and and its implicit inequality?
a random file that i have no clue where i got it. YANWH_solo_and_final_chorus_missing.mp3
https://harmonyscuddleparty.blogspot.com/2024/05/blog-post.html
something i wrote in the shower this morning
that sounds rlly cool
1
[8:20 PM]
i’d be down but need to collect
just interesting
(this section does ramble about people that people here know so if thats not the vibe then yeah)
im also just so scared that this wont work out. im scared this is gonna endup like what happened with winter where i fuck up in a way that im never told and never gotten to really identify. it took me nearly a year to get over winter and sadie incident. and that was with people i was less close with and hungout irl with less than audrey. i really dont know what would happen if i fuck up. im always so scared. she does assure me that she will communicate any discomfort. 1/2.
my whimsy is intelligible!. but only to those who are wise and understanding of the royal farr.
the problem is that what happened with winter and sadie (and belle) really just utterly destroyed my ability to believe people wont leave me or not communicate or exclude me. i still miss them for some reason.
I'm horrified that you would challenge my claim to the mandate of heaven
im also just. scared of becoming employed again. what if i fail and get fired again?. i am not use to working. i want to tho. i need to be useful. been realizing how fucked up mentally living with my sister has left me. life is heading in a positive place but also man. i deeply recognize it could fall apart at any moment. im just. man. im sorry. im tired. im scared. i want to hold my audrey.
you dont even have the 傳國玉璽... youre lying rn...
how slutty is mulder being
I have people who live with me that are explicitly sober and the fact that the second thing out of your mouth at my party was offering acid to people party about playing board games and exchanging plants did you think "Ah yes, acid will really take this to the next level." One skill you need to learn is reading the fucking room. Just because l am cool with acid doesn't mean you can just show up to my house and start handing it out.
cathriene. — Today at 10:53 PM
Yeah!! Give me like a few minutes for my hair to dry first :3
Ready!!
my head hurts but I want to hold u
1
audrey.
my head hurts but I want to hold u
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