constantly tired.

im constantly tired these days. havent been sleeping best. drinking more than i should. Robyn said i shouldnt stir the pot but being tired makes me stir the pot and think about Margo. and it's tiring. and i just want to exist on my own for awhile, see what it's like again. the loneliness seeps in again. thinking about people ive talked to that are mopey about partner stuff and it sucks. sometimes theyre over possessive. want to rush things. i dont want to be like that.

planning dnd stuff and it's exciting. i think gonna use the locate city nuke at somepoint. the worldbuilding for the plane of ooze is coming together. need to read the dungeon masters guide. focus is fucked. im sorry. talking about dnd fun but i am just so depressed. i dont want to be clingy. but i want to talk to it. why must i make everyone uncomfortable with my existence?. i have let everyone down. i have no well of energy. posted in a shared server after it sent poetry there. we cant both be tsunderes. maybe i should nap. i dont know why interacted in that server. but i feel stupid. i hate emotions. ugh.