on the way to friendhouse in val's car.

thorn/margo, i doubt you read these anymore. but if you do please skip this one.

fell asleep late, was in many vcs. oooh well. got four hours of sleep, what delirium!!!. anyway. showered and then went to W's dissertation defense, then went to another part of CU. had food and wine and good conversation, i will record a voice message later. i feel like i was used and then discarded by thorn and it sucks. ugh. i am sad. and mad. had a good conversation with val about tjorn stuff. and then went and visited chloe and talked about robots. oh also went with W, S, and A and got a flight of beer and it was yum. talked to waiter and i missed working. i feel like trust was broken by thorn. and i dont know what to do about that. i dont know how to say "what you did hurt me despite the fact i didnt communicate that was something id like communication about, i feel like shit, it felt like a betrayal. i dont want possession over you but i want to be your girlfriend". that's what i figured out by talking with val. i am scared. i am not sure if i love it anymore. thinking about it calling me "a little shit" makes me sad. i hate thinking about this. i hate it. i am so so so tired. all the time. i hate this existence and it's unsustainable.

saw some teens harassing (?) an old homeless man outside a seven eleven val stopped at to get gas. it made me sad. i shouldve said something.

i thought that if i didnt explicitly say "let us be partners" or worked out comforts and limits then it would be fine. i was wrong. i want to cry. val is talking about electrical instruments and goth music.