wanting to die.

Oh dryad of the winds

I remember resting with you and you babbling

on visions. i miss those.

there is an old poem i wrote about it.

Þorn has hit me before and i shrugged it off and i dont know. it has hurt me.

i love it despite this all.

i dont understand anything. i think it once kinda raped me, i shouldve said "i dont wanna have sex right now" but i didnt and so it fucked me in the shower. 

i am depressed and i really dont see a future without it.

i. i am annoyed. 

i. i. i. i am in hell. i am in hell. i am waiting to die. i am scared. i have no friends. no true friends. 

i need to die. i cant live like this anymore. i cant be this fucking failure. i cant stand this retarded world. i am dying so slowly. 

i want vegetables. i want a dinner with thorn. i want this relationship to continue even if it hurts us both because i am selfish. 

i want to shoot myself and i have no gun luckily. 

i dont wanna be here anymore. i love it and all i can think about is hate. i burn. i burn. i cant be poly because i am a fox and im tired of sex. 

it said it wanted to be killed and shy'd away. im so scared of the voice that was inside me. 

i am. i am. i dont like being a person. i WANT TO DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE. WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT MY ENTIRE LIFE IS SUFFERING!!!.