another letter to þorn that i wont send.

i have spent too long wishing for an extra two hundred years so i could get to know you all better but i forgot to spend the here and now getting to know you truly. i havent listened to all your favorite albums fully. i am listening to Grapefruit by Bałtyk again, you sent it to me awhile ago. i am gonna be reading the lyrics as i listen soon, was just showering. have to do insurance stuff. 

i hope you arent reading this letter or my latest blogs, in a way i hope you are so that you all know that i have felt scared and terrified. but last night Cirrus talked to me about guilt after we watched Bugsy Malone. it doesnt do anything to feel guilt, it's not a payment and it doesnt help the other person. we were both tired and i need to talk to her again. i hope you arent reading these blogs until much later. i love you.