bed by ten.

got up at eleven after hanging out with val. fell asleep at four. got up at twelve maybe. watched slop. i jerked off a lot today and painted an old study of mine. talking to margo. dad and sister went to watch the odyssey. i am full of sadness and maybe anger?. i want to paint a woman cumming on a figurine. listening to john cale. i will clean. existing is so hard. feathered thing. borderline last night. purged all love maybe. maybe. i am tired and been tired all day. maybe tomorrow will be better (no it wont). i am nothing at all haha. like a ditto. whatever the copying pokémon is. therapy and job. i hate myself and the world and love it too. im so ordinary.