Monday, July 6, 2026
the sixth.
poems from high school.
May 7
Alas, I do not know the name of that who is myself
Hark! Who are thou?
In the myths of the Greeks, mother of Odysseus, Anticlia, died of grief and worry
So shall I perish for I cry
I cry for the seas that are now red and black
I cry for the woods that are ablaze in these hours of man
I have seen those in need die whilst those in houses of gold stand by
I weep for those in chains unjust
Hark! Who are I?
It is said that in Inisfáil the Baintsí wail before death comes to a house
It is I who wails
Wail as I might it changes nothing
I wail for the homes torn down, homes of those who did no crime
I wail for the air is thick with soot and smoke now
I have seen liars and thieves rob this land again and again
I wail for those die of wounds made by this bitter world
Hark! I ask myself my name yet again
The Norse tell of Lagertha, it is sung that with spear and shield she battled and a battle was won
I too battle
I fight for those who have been cast out by family
I fight for those who search books for themselves and find nothing
I have seen those who call themselves guards strike down innocents
I fight for those dying of silent invisible blades
So again I ask who art thou? Thou called me?
It is I who cries, wails, and fights
I have no audience with the dead
Nor do I know the dates of death
And I own no spear kissed by Gods
I am the Baintsí Anticlia Lagertha
I warn all of the coming death
I cry for death that has come
And I fight for the morrow
May 4
Theater Poem
Alas as we might weep and wail it ends
This palace of beautiful lies turns to dust
We are fools but with words and light art is made
We must depart and say goodbye to our created world
Masks we wear but as the cloth sets we break
So now, we tear down a world of wood and paint
August 16
Ten thousand songs unsung
There's so many songs that I wish to sing
But it seems that they all wish to stay inside
There's a song of my own
And a song of love
So many songs
I even have a song for you
But once again they roost in my mind
So alas I sit here and think
A new song a minute
My lips nel my hands are able to coax them out
And so they shall remain at least for now roosting in my mind
A million songs who I made and love
My mind too fast for them all
My hands are slow and weak
There's nothing I can do
These words and works placed inside
A mind who sings and sings
Why does she sing so?
Why does she sing so when she knows that I cannot keep up with her work?
Ten billion songs here now
The pen and lips are tired now
But she still sings
Endless pages with a fraction of them
A song for one and all
I wish to share them all
But time is only so thin
And my mind, she is so thick with ideas and ideals
Never able to shake them
My worlds and songs will never be complete
There is no day where I will stand and believe it done
My hands work throughout the night
My eyes cry from how I tire
But my mind, how she sings and sings
Words can't hold me
My stomach hungers but it must wait
Time and hands creates these works
Crossed out words and murdered loved lands
The sun rises and sets but still she sings
I fall now in rest
In the night and day I wander and my mind sees it all
She takes the world in her hands and makes it anew
Hands dance in my mind and mine dance across the page
I have no hopes for this brick of dreams
Many better than me and my mind have tried and failed
I search for a word back, even some words of dejection
There's nothing to do but wait, and my mind she sings
And so while I wait I must start again
A sword that never rests until I draw my last breath
A cup of tea and a set of tired eyes lay into the note
And so there are tears now
August 16
Hide it so they say
Why should I do so?
To bury it is to kill me
I have no way to please you
For I am the one who lies in-between
August 16
Alas these words
An old man says
Alas these words
So says I
I do not know the point of your work nel shall I pretend to know it
You take these words and twist them into bitter shapes
And for what? For what may I ask?
Why does one take these words and use them so?
Have I really caused you harm with the way I am?
I have offered you some words before, but you curse them and me
Do I distress you so much that I be needed to be smited?
Are you such a fool that you take these words and misread them in such a way?
What causes this hate, if I may so ask?
Have the sight of love slighted you so?
If that is so then I can only weep for you
Have shades so close to your own created a worry?
If that is so then I can only weep for you
Have a belief of another brewed such a rage?
If that is so then I can only weep for you
Have the dress of some others made you cry in fright?
If that is so then I can only weep for you
These words you speak make no sense to me
Nor do I wish to know why one speaks them so
August 26
ANARCHY! That's what I cry
Not chaos but a new order
One where all may dance
Where the worries of the world melt away
Love is free at long last
Nov 27, 2018
Render thine self on to the flesh
Join us in these acts we consider holy and righteous
If you do not join then it is clearly evidence of your moral corruption
We shall find those secrets of yours which you hide well and will bring them forth into our holy light
We know what we do is right for we have heard words from heaven and they say it is so
If you dare say anything against us then we shall burn all that you love
We will wear masks and shout that we are you and say the words that you despise
We sit in a home of mirrors to say that we are many more then we are
False anger at anything that we do not find to met our holy ideals
When anyone but us say that a stone has been thrown we will cry out at all who listen
We will say that things like this did not happen in the days past
We shall worship ancient ideas and turn to the past and say that is the ways all things should be done
We say that this is right and that is this is the way it has always been done.
11/21/2019
Can you tell me who I am?
I do not know my tale
But here I ask now
Tell me what or who I be
My story a great unknown
I wish to know that sweet tale
But sadly I can not know quite yet
I search now in order to know what I be
11/21/2019
abab cdcd efef gg
× / × / × / × / × /
x/ x / x/ x/ x/
Adair the fae obey below above
x/
July
You, what is it you sing?
Do you bring me news?
Who shall be king?
Tell me, I am not here to amuse
Oracle, I ask you again
I wish to, nah, need to know
Where will this tale end?
But you run in the land below
What horrors do you bring home?
Curse you, fae, you must tell
Whose blood shall run on the Throne?
Over this land there hangs a spell
You are the one who sits up high
And in the end we’ll all die
11/21/2019
x/
Versailles frontier
Tonight I may die
But I dance true
Oh my lady, what do you wish from me?
Do you wish me to spend my days worshipping you?
Or do you wish to have me wander for all that I can?
Oh my lady? Why did you make me?
Why must my bones, heart, and mind break so?
How do I best praise you?
Shall I capture the beauty you made in words and art?
What do you want from me my lady?
Let me wander and worship, if you so wish
I will make art of the valleys you formed
Of mountains I shall write
The likeness of birds and mice I shall catch
Do you not wish for us to see it all?
All that we can see?
I see now, you wish not for us to praise you by shutting ourselves in
You gave us wings, not to stare and thank you for the feathers
But to instead fly and soar, and use them I will
I will go and travel
I will see what tastes and sights the world holds
Oh my lady
Oh my lady
I shall sing for you
I shall write for you
I shall make for you
Oh my lady
Oh my lady
January 8, 2020
Tell me friends, tell me now.
What is the downfall of an empire?
What turns a civilization into dusk?
There be those who declare in snake tongue it falls when we forget the gods.
Or when all of us have rights and peace to be.
Or when our art becomes more than drawings of fields and farms.
But I disagree with these fools.
An empire crumbles when the lords and ladys of the manor stop paying their dues.
It crumbles when the destitute, who bes most of us at that point see how the royals gobble everything into their glut.
It crumbles when endless war is waged by order of those on top, but those on top never seem to be the ones who die, but the workers always do.
It crumbles when the roads rot and the public goods are sapped away.
It crumbles when high crimes does pay, at least for the rich while we are imprisoned for simply taking some bread.
An empire crumbles when the maggots in the system are clear to all.
That my friends is what makes an empire fall.
1/8/2020
the old world melts.
trash fills the new world, just like the old.
do you see how everything grows?
the bramble grows fast now.
the woodlands are returning.
maybe this is justice.
we die but what we made remains.
1/8/2019
oh my. oh my./ use my bones well my child./ use them well./ turn them into knives and dice./ travel and see what the world is made of./ the flowers that bleed and the flowers that sing./ climb the cliffs to spy what the midnight sky hides./ use my death well./ use my flesh to fuel your hearth./ what a wonderful shade of blue a soul is./ know this all.
oh my. oh my./
use my bones well my child./
use them well./
turn them into knives and dice./
travel and see what the world is made of./
the flowers that bleed and the flowers that sing./
climb the cliffs to spy what the midnight sky hides./
use my death well./
use my flesh to fuel your hearth./
what a wonderful shade of blue a soul is./
know this all.
1/13/2020
Saccharine Hours So.
Alas these words.
Alas these words, how they rip and tear at me.
A great and terrifying maw that devours my soul
Alas them so.
What can i say but…
what can i say now?
i have no words now.
they have been taken and shattered.
i know not how my heart breaks but it breaks so
heaven nel hell shall take me, that i know
i am fated now to wander
wander where i know not, but still wander i must
death she cries but we here? we are fools and will not listen.
alas these…
alas these… words…
whaat damage they do, they…
words, a beatuy and a horror.
i step from my chapel and go now, to hell i cry
no god shall listen to me, how i sing my sins.
alas...
alas...
what a fool words be… i curse them now…
my bones shall burn and i shall have no friends to attend to me as i die
i scream at those who appoach me, tell them to flee for i…
i am the maw i curse, this blade that slides between my bones and flesh my own
a foul lot we all have been dealt, and what can we do with it?
no lover, no campgaion, no friends now, just my own flesh and hands i have
and even that betrays me so
fling me unto the pyre and let it burn, this acursed foul thing called me
Alas! alas! alas! flesh and words toment me so!
in the….
In the endless desert…
Out there…
Out there…
where the sands are sweet and the sun bright…
i see it, a tomb that holds, but holds what i must ask…
wine and gold perhaps… no, those things were robbed along ago…
i... i… i take an axe…
and tear the grand door of the temple tomb down, to peer beneath…
and what do we, me and my soul and spritit see? pray
we see a withered corpse, a visage of ourselves, covered in no gold, in no silks…
it is covered not, devil nel god would take it or even spit upon it
no myrrh upon our temples, no clothes of cotton, or silk, or any fiber upon our bod
a cruel face staares back aatt uss… an attack upon us…
no words to mark this place nel does it deserve it…
a crown we will never wear, my spriti and i, no grand robes, no ivy to cover us…
that i now know…
in an old town i once did wandered, there to see a vicar, a fine man of god.
late at night i did arive, barely a light was still alive, no resthouses either.
so i sat there, out by chaple, chapel, forgive my old mind now.
my eye sought out in the sky a truth, something, anything, something that my mind or god had not given me… i found nothing there, no great truth.
i think or at least like to think that was the night i died.
my mind… she had no hope anymore, how could she? she saw all the deaths and all the horrors, as did i.
forgive me for rambling… i always ramble, one of my worse traits, among many others.
i once was much younger, well we all were at some point, you know how it goes…
back before my flesh aand my bones grew weak.
my last hope i held in that vicar and during that night, he died.
a sweet death it was, one that we all wish for. he passed from this world to the others.
what a fucking fool i was, the gods had robbed me again. i think that i deserved it.
Alas! alas... alas…
oh yes, my youth, back when i still had hope.
in youth you are a fool, well always a fool you are.
and me? oh... i was the king of fools, fox and ewe i hunted, on back of horse
in high regard i was held, child of the manor, dressed in golds and silks.
Eacch niight… oh yes… oh yess… a great feast, I remember the wine, so sweet, and oh how we danced…
fools dance…
many a lover i had, Oh! The greatest companions you could wish for as well, and what friends I had back then.
There was a grand garden, you went past the grand halls of that great manor, with high arches, just past the chapel… a small chapel, barely used, most use it saw i believe was as a place to rest after the fine liquor got to you and weaved into your mind.
yes, just past the chapel, out into the grand gardens…
oh i remember how the flowers smell… the smell of the old eucalyptus tree where i use to play.
one night i found myself there.
and to the sky my eyes went, i thought to myself then i found a truth…
Oh how the night sky sings her pleasant song.
Far from the peasants, far from the manor.
Far from light.
She sung for me on that moonless night.
A story! Just for me! Oh joy! oh joy… foul joy…
Light danced on the leaves of the eucalyptus tree.
A symphony of sights and smells, so sweet and lovely, like honey.
There I was, at peace, the still air, no sound but the night’s
A truth found.
And so I slept there, under the moonless night and candied trees.
fool.
fool.
i damn myself now.
but those saccharine hours are gone now.
the least thing i ate was a peach, stolen.
oh how far i have fallen….
the manor? oh yes, The Manor… like old parchment my memory is. it is gone i am sure.
war….
war.
war repeats, how each one starts is not of value to our tale.
Blood upon the ground
Crimson like wine
Shells lay about
No stones to mark where the dead lay
Not that it matters
Soon all that knew them
Their old friends, classmates, they too would fall
A waste
A foul fucking waste
Each morning the smell of powder drift through the air
The men at the front, puppets
Medic, soldier, cook, all meat
But us?
Us at the back? Ha.
Our danger?
There was none for us.
Grand plans
Little pieces, push them around
Just some numbers
We should have hanged.
it was a fine day when i meet the vicar, from when he came i can only guess.
Book of truth he carried
Simple shoes, simple clothes
A face sculpted by God
His eyes gleamed like a river
Kind to all
Confess all ye sin unto him
Knowledge of God but not of flesh
Until he met me
But unlike him I was not pure
i, the grand ruiner.
Words he told us
Of the mercy of God
Of our sisters and brothers
That we all bask in the same sun
That our breath is the same.
That…
i, the grand ruiner.
I signed it.
A simple order.
Mudle
Send off in a wagon
Away
For the simple crime of knowing right from wrong
My lover, how he went.
Went like a lark
Singing a song
That we both loved
i, the grand ruiner.
i...
alas.
alas.
alas…
what can i say?
my offenses and transgressions many.
heaven nel hell…
heaven nel hell…
forgive me now…
no, you can not find it in yourself to do so
no one can.
flung to the wolves, that should be my fate.
a rightful fate.
even then, that is lacking.
kill me i beg you.
my sins many.
oh so many.
a gamble i took and a gamble i lost.
my name forgotten and rightfully so.
lost my name, lost my home, and now my mind, she slips.
Alas! Alas! Alas! I must sing! I must sing….
sing...
i must be flung from the baluster…
drunken...
into jail i flew…
and so my last honor it slipped away.
14 days i wasted away
should have been more
on the 14th day i was dragged out
into the light and so i hoped i would hang.
but god… he did not give me that mercy.
and so the days passed.
And so the days passed.
Scrounging for coin so i could drink.
Bitter drink then, the waste.
Waste not even fit for the pigs
Swile, that was the name.
Named that for being worse than swill.
A cheap drink…
And so my beard grew.
Long and long it grew.
And my clothes became rags.
I was the one they avoided.
Like a dog.
And even then God had no mercy.
Beaten and broken.
Beaten and broken.
Crying for a death, any death.
I served as a warning.
A warning not to fall.
I made my home in the ditches.
i... i... i…
no friends now.
none.
ha, you listen… and why?
why do you listen?
hoping for some grand secret?
oh where i hid my hidden wealth?
well there is none.
no leason here, just an old fool…
an old fool wanting driank…
that sweet drink of death.
death…
how i wish to know her.
i will have no honors.
there will be no feast.
no chapel will take me.
heaven nel hell…
heaven nel hell…
heaven nel...
alas...
alas...
alas... these foul words…
alas...
alas... alas i say and why?
brought upon myself.
oh god…
oh death…
oh anyone who will listen…
oh my lover…
please take this fruit and go…
alas... these saccharine hours so… alas… alas these words…
oh how they rip and tear so… alas… alas… alas…
i wasn't a good fox maid.
wanting to die.
The Sixth.
Sunday, July 5, 2026
Something Sweet.
it's nearly six am.
did it ever love me?, probably yes but right now feels like "no". i wish i hadnt slept with it. and that it hadmt slept with me. i...
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hi there, i love you. Last night I had gay sex which I regret for the fact that she had Maas and Sanderson on her bookshelf. she hypnotized ...
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work today. got handed a recipe.
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one time i was supportive of femboys, and a girl said it was a slur, she turned out being right. i didnt talk to that girl for. like. two ye...